Tozer stirring me up.

"Rut, Rot or Revival: The Problem of Change and Breaking out of the Status Quo" by A.W. Tozer.

Just let that title roll over you:) Holy moly.

Aiden Wilson Tozer. Born 1897. Died to new life 1963. I wasn't born yet. He ain't messin' around.

I am stirred to consider those three R's up there over the next weeks and am prompted to wander back through my church roadmap.

1968-1986 (birth to college) Calvary Church, Charlotte, NC

A pastor who took time to talk to the children and students of the church. Memorizing verses in Children's church. My mom the church pianist. A lively youth group experience. Youth group musicals. Summer camp. Youth leaders that I remember by name to this day. Older friends that stirred real friendship in me. Meeting my college roommate in my youth group. A youth pastor whom God used to whisper me into student ministry for the rest of my life.

1986-1987 (early college) Morgantown Baptist Church, Dayton, TN

Maybe 13 people. An older congregation. Lots of politics and subtle fighting. A pastor with the fiery heart of evangelism. Walking with him and Lea around poor parts of Dayton knocking on doors. Meeting a young student named April. Whispers of students being a part of God's heart for Lea and I.

1988-1990 (late college) Sale Creek Independent Presbyterian Church, Sale Creek, TN

First youth ministry post. Junior High youth director. Under the shepherding of my college roommate Jimmy D. So much life. Students wanting a place to belong. A sense of God's stirring in the air. College roommates ministering together. Late night exam crams in the church gym. Kuntry Hut burgers. So much joy.

1990-1998 (early marriage) Cedar Springs Presbyterian Church, Knoxville, TN

First middle school pastor of the church. Grounded in weekly Bible preaching from JWeezie. Serving WITH Lea. Working under my youth pastor from high school and my young life leader from high school, both whom God used to whisper me into student ministry. A dream come true. Inside Out on Sunday nights. Singing "I just wanna be a sheep, baabaabaabaa". Summer camps. The honor of loving students where they are. Leader dinners at Fazolis after youth group, spittin' ice in the parking lot. Taylor and Trent's first youth group as babies and young boys.

1998-2001 (a decade of marriage) Park Cities Presbyterian Church, Dallas, TX

A place that we were surprised to be led to by the Lord. Not planning on leaving Knoxville. My same high school youth pastor then at PCPC inviting us to consider Minister to Students/Middle School pastor role. A stellar student ministry team in an affluent place of ministry. They are dear, humble, special people. Lifelong friends met here. Lots of hard ministry life. The Tennessee boy and girl with the funny accent seemed kind of out of place. Marked by several special needs students in the midst of an uphill climb. Facing the sadness of pornography in my story here. Really hard. It becoming clear that folks weren't pleased with my shepherding. Taylor and Trent praying profusely for a baby brother. Baby Trey born in the Big D as precious fruit in a really stretching time of life.

2001-2003 (continuing on) Christ Church, Watkinsville, GA

Small community right outside of Athens, GA. A Senior pastor coming to life. First significant Senior Pastor friendship as a staff member. Aware of the desire birthed to want to be a strong second chair support to a Sr. Pastor. Wanting to be a garden friend to often beat up pastors. Church wide Valentines Day dance. Small youth group. Sweet, sweet relationships growing. Lea valued as a godly woman in our church. Hay rides and bonfires. Fierce volleyball games. Tender friendships for our boys. Lifelong friends met here. And destruction like we've never encountered. The pastor and elders processing through years of struggle came to a head in a deeply sad eruption of anger and turmoil. The pastor and I resigned on the same Sunday.

2003-2014 (married 15 years, 20 years) Cedar Springs Presbyterian Church, Knoxville, TN

Back home to Knoxville. High School pastor this time. Unusual to return to a church this way. Grafted into one of the most special, relational youth ministry heritages that I have ever known. People who have deeply impacted the fabric of my life to this day. Doe River Gorge fall camp. Summer camp. Life groups with fellow leaders that are the best people I know. Friends from Christ Church coming to serve with us here. Two year intern apprenticeship. Taking long walks with male interns. Listening to their hearts. Connection with students that has lit me up. Worshipping together in the Fellowship Hall. Volunteer leader teams that were the gutsiest, real people I've known investing their lives in students. Beautiful. Deeply sad ending. Fired as the church wanted a different kind of leader for the High School ministry. Wounded in the handling for Lea and I. Forever grateful for the fruit of growth in that place. Home Sweet Home to us.

late 2014 (not a staff position) Old North Abbey, Knoxville, TN

Fired from my job and hunting churches to attend. A weird event for a levitical family. An intimate whisper shoutout to Father Aaron and the people of ONA where the Lord led us to pause in Advent of 2014 to worship and heal. It will always be a holy ground of moments as Lea, Trey, Grannie and I paused our church hunt to experience our friends at ONA hold the Bible high, ring the bell to call us to attention, and sing "Wait for the Lord, whose day is near." So important. So healing. So intimate. Thank you ONA. Thank you Lord.

2015-2019 (married 25 years) Korean Church of Knoxville, Knoxville TN

I'm crying now. Really. English Ministry Pastor of the Korean Church of Knoxville. I can't believe God let us do this. One of the greatest honors of my life. We experienced becoming a minority inside a minority in our country. So humbling what we learned from our friends. Such hard, mysterious learning. Served on staff with Lea for the first time as she was an Associate Children's Minister at KCK. The pastor and his wife. I have no words. What I learned from them and received from them cannot be recounted. They are heroes in my life. My desire to be a blessing to my pastor burns strong. The humility that I watched in this pastor has marked me for life. The children and students. Blows me away to know them. Holy Win, Cross Point, change war, Second Harvest. BASIC, English Worship Service and the Wonder Cluster. Those we served with. Only they know what happened. It wasn't demonstrative outwardly. Inwardly it was treasure. Once in a lifetime.

2019-2021 (married 30 years) Signal Mountain Bible Church, Signal Mountain, TN

Where I'm writing from today. Still crying. They have been very kind to my family. Church ministry in a pandemic. Wow, that is humbling. It has been hard. It has been rich. Sensing a slow, steady stirring of curiosity of what the Lord is up to here. So thankful for Spirit's Pavilion on the back of our property where we have gathered outside with our students during the pandemic. A group of adult leaders who are intentionally seeking to be WITH. So exciting to watch it happen. Getting to know students and parents, so special. My desire to be a blessing to a Sr. pastor grows stronger still. A place to invite every heart of our church to One Family Ministry.

Why recount this church roadmap of my life? There is always value in remembering, even when it is hard. There is always value in rehearsing the strong, tender leading of the Trinity in our story.

Why else recount this roadmap?

To say thank you Lea.

To pray for my children about them and the Bride.

To recount this story for the next generation.

To honor each PIG (Partner In the Gospel) from along the way.

To remind myself how much I love the Bride.

To remind myself how honored I am to be in service to her.

To remind myself how much I love Jesus.

To remind myself how hungry I am for the unexplained work of God.

To remind myself that....

There's more.