Rut, Rot or Revival 3

Ash Wednesday.

There is an invitation for us to orient our lives, not primarily around calendar and schedule, but around the life of Jesus. Advent (preparing for the birth of Jesus), Christmas (the incarnation of Jesus), 12 days of Christmas or Christmastide (continuing to celebrate that Jesus has come), Epiphany (the worship of Jesus), Ordinary Time (living in Jesus on normal days), Lent (preparing for the death and resurrection of Jesus), Easter (the resurrection of Jesus), Eastertide (continuing to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus), Pentecost (Jesus tells us about the gift of the Holy Spirit), more Ordinary Time (living in Jesus on normal days) and back to Advent. A rhythm.

You might say, "what's the big deal?" And that's ok. I want to know that there is more to my days than a calendar of appointments, holidays and bills due. And that there is more. This rhythm just points us to that.

So, Ash Wednesday is today. The first day of the 40 days of Lent. We see Easter off in the distance now. There is a path through to that day. That's what Lent has traditionally been. Slowing along that path as we consider Jesus moving towards the cross. A time to consider us and Jesus, with Jesus. A way to not just all of sudden emerge out of my calendar to the Easter bunny and the soon to follow Masters golf tournament the next weekend. I actually pay attention in my interior life about how I am about the sacrifice of Jesus on my behalf.

Ash Wednesday. Orienting around the life of Christ on this first day of Lent.

Last week, AW Tozer's thought centered around what he called the "rote" of the people of God and church. "We repeat without feeling, we repeat without meaning, we sing without wonder, and we listen without surprise. That is my description of the rote." I have been thinking. What is church for me? Am I interested? Disinterested? Indifferent? Bored? Hurt? Mocking it? Intrigued? Hungry?

Tozer continues. "We go one step further and come to what I will call the 'rut', which is bondage to the rote. When we are unable to see and sense bondage to the rote, we are in a rut. For example, a man may be sick and not even know it. The doctors have confided in the man's wife and said, 'We don't want to frighten your husband, but he could drop any minute. He is critically ill, so just expect it at any moment.' But the man himself does not know he is seriously ill. He goes about his business as though nothing is wrong. He may play golf or tennis, maybe go on a hunting trip. He is sick, and yet he does not know how sick he really is. This may in fact hasten his end. Not knowing is risky business and full of danger. Spiritually speaking, the rut is bondage to the rote, and the greatest danger lies in our inability to sense or feel this bondage."

How would we ever know if we are in bondage to the rote and therefore in a rut about church?

There are some things that we talk about. There are some things that we don't talk about.

We talk about life routines, entertainment, food, milestones, trips, disappointments, and on and on it goes. What I don't think we talk a lot about are things like this one. How am I really about me and Jesus these days? How am I about church these days? Is it just a routine that I do? Am I hopeful about church? Am I excited about church? I wonder why I talk about some things but not about others. Perhaps talking about certain things seems worthless or unnecessary. Perhaps talking about things like church illicit pain and we choose not to. Too much hurt. Or, I just don't really care, if I'm honest. Even writing these things out is making me think, 'Why am I even thinking and writing about this?' That is a question for me to ponder this Ash Wednesday.

What if I slowed during the 40 days of Lent and pondered some of these things. Could I discover if I am in bondage to the rote? Would I discover that I am in a rut about church? Is it just a lifeless routine? How would you even go about thinking about how you are about church? I guess you would just actually take some time to think about it.

How do I interface about church in a given week? Do I notice hurt, anger or disappointment? Do I notice love, joy and hunger? Do I anticipate our weekly gathering as a little flock? Is it barely a blip on my radar?

And as we take time to think about this idea in any form...think, wait and pay attention.

And

talk to God about it.

Really.

Jesus, my heart feels like a mash up about church. Am I in or not? Do I care or not? Too hurt to stay present? Too naive to go deeper? Bored out of my mind or intrigued? Trust or mistrust? Seeking her peace or mocking her? Concerned about my glory or Your glory? I'm a mess about church. Thank you for being WITH me in the mess.

Am I in bondage to the rote?

Am I in a rut?

Does it matter?

There's more.