Moving towards a BuyTheField Sabbath.

My heart is tender.

I have been talking with the Lord in the last several months about my weekly writing over the last years in BuyTheField. I will expound on this more in another post, but I shared with Lea in the last several weeks that I am sensing the Lord's invitation to come to a Sabbath pause or end to my weekly writing of BuyTheField. A lot happens in me as I write those words. I will process my heart further about this closure in about 7-8 weeks from now.

Until then, here is my word picture for you.

Lea is the most avid journalist that I know. She has been journaling nightly for decades. It is one the most intimate and precious parts of her life. The treasure that she and the Lord have stored with ink and paper is mammoth. These ring bound treasures will be priceless troves for any eyes that might get to read them. (Troves: a store of valuable or delightful things.) Yes. A trove. One of the beautiful rhythms of Lea's life is that year after year after year, as she anticipates receiving her new journal for the new coming year, she pauses on some of the last Sunday afternoons of the year and she rereads her journal from that current year. I love how she will read me little portions as she stumbles on to a treacherous or tender part of the year that is closing. I have admired this yearly liturgy of Lea's for a long time. It is very instructive. It is very stirring.

Over the next 6 weeks or so I am going to be re-reading my BuyTheField journal. My intention is to re-post 5 or 6 posts from the past 6 years of writing that stand out to me for whatever reason the Lord might stimulate. I am aware that this exercise is primarily for my heart as I anticipate this closure. My gratitude for your reading eyes and heart is tender. I intend to address that as well.

My first stop of remembrance is from this time 4 years ago as I was processing my heart at the end of 23 days when our sons Taylor and Trent were married to their brides 3 weeks apart.

I remember...

Land of Word.

(written April 18, 2018)

23 days. Friday, March 23 to Saturday, April 14. These 23 days have changed me. My heart is delighted, dazed and delicate as I touch these keys this morning. I'm rummaging around in my heart as I think about writing buythefield today. So many rabbit trails to hop down. Rabbit trails to ignore. Rabbit trails to explore. Whispered lies that noone is interested including myself. Declared truth that becoming a "little Christ" is rapt with intrigue and intimacy worth exploring and declaring. Simple complexity of one human heart linked with simple complexity of other human hearts becoming "little Christs'" IS the story.

And so this is the rabbit trail I'm pausing my hopping on for these few minutes. Land of Word. In the last 23 days, I gathered twice at feast tables. The feast was words. I listened as the family and friends of Taylor and Ashley and Trent and Meg spoke words to them. Words of noticing. Words of impact. Words of profuse gratitude. Words of hidden, mustard seed growth. Words of surprise. Words of intimacy. They just kept coming. Words from a younger brother. Words from a tender, tenacious mother. Words of life. Words birthed by Jesus. Words used to form "little Christ's".

During the two wedding weekends, I gathered with a group of men that Taylor has lived with during college and beyond and a group of men that Trent has lived with during college and beyond. I looked at them in the face to try to describe the humbling hope and mystery of wondering who the people would be that God would sovereignly place in their lives. As I listened to each of them bless my sons and their brides with their words around feast tables, I just wept. So thankful.

I listened to the depth of words that poured out of Trent and Taylor's younger brother as he spoke of a band of raggedy brothers and loving new sisters. I pondered the cost of being the youngest as the older two are launching out and heard his words of gratitude. I just wept. So stirred.

I listened to the beauty of Ashley and Meg that God has woven into Taylor and Trent's hearts, these daughters of God. I listened to each of them join in the chorus of words to declare, "I choose to be with you. I want to be with you". I just wept. So humbling.

I listened to the momma of these two marrying men. I listened to her tears. I listened to her servant heart. I listened to her longing. I listened to her loving. I just wept. So radiantly beautiful.

I waited for my heart to explode.

I can't possibly fathom the vastness of all these words. And as I'm trying to sort out my heart about the vastness of these 23 days, this is where I'm landing for this moment. Landing in the land of Word. "In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God." Jesus is the Word. The Word is going to prepare a place for us. We will marry the Word and will live with the Word in that place.....the land of Word.

That's the birth place and the landing place of the feast of words from these 23 days. And your feasts of words. It's all informed by the land of Word. It's all inspired by the land of Word. It's all intimately consummated in the land of Word.

My heart can't fully take in and fathom the feast of words from these 23 days. Any earthly feast wants to point to a continuation that is greater and richer than I can ever imagine. I want it. The taste of the word feasts of the last 23 days have made me hungrier.

Yes. I'm hungrier. And humbled. And resting in the land of Word.

There's more.