How Do I Change? (2)

How do we ever change?

Letter number 2 to a special friend.

Greetings.

And so I continue.

This is where I left off in letter 1….

So there is this starting reality that we are born opposed to God and then as we live our life, in or out of relationship with Him, there is still opposition raging to destroy us from within and without. And sometimes I am my own worst enemy in that reality. Because there is still battle within me, my choices at times are totally in line with the evil that so wants to destroy me. And upon acting on those sinful choices, I find myself in a deep, dirty gutter of hopelessness, sure that I will never overcome the consequence (and perhaps pattern) of my sinful acts and choices.

That “acting on those sinful choices and finding myself in a deep, dirty gutter of hopelessness” is word two…. thorns. We respond to the heat in our lives in some way or another. In our current state we tend to respond to the heat with fleshly wisdom. “I’ve got this.” Flesh breeds foolishness. Foolishness delivers consequences. The thorns have a continued devastating effect on my heart. What does that then look like ongoing? It can look lots of different ways like….

-being bitter and letting bitterness grow inside of me

-lying, denying, avoiding, or blaming in order to deflect away from my own fleshly response

-a constant life of sarcasm and joking

-total self absorption….numbing myself with all sorts of technological, sexual, alcoholic, and/or food entertainment (Netflix myself to death)

-“I don’t care” laziness

-staying busy so as to always remain on a meaningless, surface level of interaction with myself and anyone else (taking an inside look at my heart is not an option)

-doubting God, cursing God, mocking God, blaming God, avoiding God, dismissing God

-coping any way I can apart from turning to God…”hell no, I won’t go there”

-and maybe a toxic cocktail mixing some or all of the above

These responses are not forced on me by the pressures of the heat/thorn duo. WHAT I DO COMES FROM INSIDE ME.

Slow down here. That's not what I really want to do in those words, but I'm inclined to invite us to slow down anyway.

These responses are not forced on me by the pressures of the heat/thorn duo. WHAT I DO COMES FROM INSIDE ME.

Dang. My thorn responses to the heat come out of the thoughts and motives of my heart which according to God in the bible is that “every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart is only evil all the time.” Double dang.

At this point you might be saying, "Dude, leave me alone with your cute letters. They aren't cute anymore. They're depressing. Keep things light man. I'm out."

But if you keep pushing a little further in the dark, you might say, “So I really am screwed. I’ll never change. This is what I’ve been saying. Your cute letters aren’t really telling me anything I don’t already know. This is where this ultimately leads to. I’m screwed. I will never change. Only evil, all the time.”

"I'll never change."

If you’re willing, in the midst of the murky dark, stay tuned for word 3.

There's more.