Not Losing Heart.

Pandemics are always preceded by heart pandemics. Long before there was specific, physical suffering spreading through specific, physical places during specific times of history including now, there is and has been specific people's hearts. "Heart", not "thump, thump", but "heart", the inner woman and inner man that is being formed through beauty and battle moment by moment.

I wrote these words a little over two years ago.....

"Facing our own hearts is really hard. It's probably the hardest thing I've ever done. There are plenty of things to stay busy with that can keep me from paying attention to my own soul. Many of those things are good and wholesome. They can still keep me from facing my own heart. Living life on a sin affected planet has really affected me. I have sinned and I have been sinned against. And it affects me. I don’t want to admit being weak, but I’m weak. I don’t want to admit being needy, but I’m needy. My life has had hard things in it. Sadness in relationships. Disappointment in myself for sinful choices that I have willingly made to trust idols more than Jesus. And when you begin to slow long enough to face your true heart, your true self, many times it seems as though it would be easier to run than to face all the pain and disappointment. I’ve disappointed people that I love. Feeling the absence of an earthly parent speaking into your life along the way. Sinning against your spouse. Regret over feeling like you missed times to teach or love your children well. Things left undone. I’ve disappointed myself. And then there is the idea of disappointment from God. In staring at the heap of all of this, I can, mostly secretly, entertain the thought that God must be disappointed in me. Really disappointed in me. Of course I don’t ever want to slow enough to ponder this. It’s a tragic thought. It breaks my heart to think that God is disappointed with me."

Processing our own hearts is beautiful and chaotic. Processing the suffering and complexity of the world we live in is also beautiful and chaotic. Realize it or not, it's a LOT of processing that our hearts are doing. And where does it lead us? I am so thankful that God's beautiful Word speaks to our hearts, speaks to this processing. I don't want to rush from that thought. His living Word is speaking to us in the guts of the complexity of our heart and world. How rich! How kind that God does not bypass tending our hearts with His living Words.

So, what does He say to us?

"Now He was telling them a parable to show that at all times they ought to pray and not to lose heart." (bible book of Luke, chapter 18, verse 1)

"Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary,

light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal." (bible book of 2 Corinthians, chapter 4, verses 16-18)

"Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary." (bible book of Galatians, chapter 6, verse 9)

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." (bible book of Hebrews, chapter 12, verses 1-3)

He says that we can lose heart.

He says it by speaking these words of life over us about NOT losing heart. Both of these thoughts are beautifully kind. By telling us that there is a way to live life in connection with Jesus that helps us to not lose heart, He also declares the obvious reality. We can lose heart. And He is giving attention to us learning from Him about that not being the ruling reality in our daily living.

The ongoing, pandemic battles of our hearts, minds and bodies are real and messy. It can lead us to losing heart. That is real and He does not disdain us for it. Thanks be to God that His abundant, startlingly rich heart gives us increasing capacity to not lose heart.

He teaches us.

We can learn from Him.

There's more.