Dependance.

Our lives have lots of sections to it. Weekday, weekend. School year, summer. Summer, fall, winter, spring. First semester, second semester. First half, second half. Fall break, spring break. New baby, aging parent. As I consider these different kinds of sections, I am aware that a common strand, winding its way through all of them, is time.

We have been on Signal Mountain for a month now. I'm aware that my heart is still processing this time of closure and beginnings. Months ago as my new church family was preparing for our arrival, they showed me the room that would be an office space for me. They would move the current furniture out and bring in some appropriate office furniture. There were several large pieces of wall decor that they said they would take down and move elsewhere. One of them was a "really" big clock. When I first saw the BIG clock, I had an awareness that I didn't want them to hastily take it to another spot in the church. I asked if they would leave it leaning against the wall in the space so that I could consider if I wanted to keep it as I arrived and began to settle the space. I'm staring at it right in front of me this morning while I write.

Bible book of Psalm, chapter 90, verses 10 and 12. "As for the days of our life, they contain seventy years, or if due to strength, eighty years, yet their pride is but labor and sorrow; For soon it is gone and we fly away....so teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom."

This is actually why I wanted to have the "BIG" clock on the wall of this space. 27,375 days. That's 75 years. Even in the words of the Psalmist there is an understood dependance. I know precious friends whose children lived mere moments on the earth. My mom and dad have both pushed passed 30,000 days. Therein lies the beauty of these words. "Teach us...." Teach us Lord. Teach me Lord. That's why the clock is on this wall. Teach me Papa to number my days. I AM NOT IN CONTROL. I am not independent. I am DEPENDENT. I am declaring dependence today.

My new friend Louis read these words on Sunday. "You do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. you are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away." My old friend Gary said a couple of months ago, "We should live today in light of THE DAY that is coming."

Lea taught our students this past Sunday about asking God to teach us about numbering our days rightly. Is there a way that we can view our days through a grid that draws our attention to Jesus and His heart as opposed to just living our days "just getting through the day"?

You may have to remind me of these things again along they way of days. I really don't want to live a me-focussed life and I struggle with that. I am really hungry for a rhythm that isn't primarily about being busy. I want to tangibly focus on Jesus while I'm living the life that He is giving me to live. His days for me, not my days.

I'm right around 18,735 days today. And on day 18,375ish I am sensing God urging alertness. I believe that these words of dependence are really beautiful. I believe they are words of humility. These words indicate the capacity to be learners. Which words?

Lord, teach me.

Lord, teach us.

In these words, literally....

there's more.