Tell Me The Truth.

Re-directed. I'm sitting in my office, the translation room, at the Korean Church of Knoxville. About to write about the things that I taught on Sunday so as to remind myself so that I won't live like a foolish hypocrite, not believing the things that I taught 4 days ago.

And I'm being redirected.

I weep as I receive the kindness of God in the midst of the beautiful chaos of heart living. I am a conglomerate of moments. My young friend is in the hospital with a fractured skull. His parents are learning their way through relating. Other friends had joyful breakthrough this weekend as they seek God to learn about relating with each other amidst pain and brokenness. They wonder about how God will sustain growth in them. Other friends are seeking to find their way in restoration and forgiving in their family relationships. Lea and I worshipped with our pastor and his wife in their home two nights ago. Just the four of us, worshipping Jesus and calling on His name in desperation. We have never worshipped with just our pastor and his wife in our life all along the way. I rode with my youngest to a soccer game with his friends last night. I listened to them laugh. I listened to them trying to find their way in life. I listened to them celebrate on the way home. I savored a moment with my son as he prepares to launch into next things. Lea and I welcome college students into our home tonight. I wonder if they will come. It has been 3 years of hard, sad, beautiful relating with these precious emerging adults. Our church is struggling in unseen warfare and known conflict. It is troubling, angering and worth the battle. People here I love are hurting and suffering. I am confessing my sin in wanting to make things right in my own flesh. I repent. Lea and I received specific words from two friends who spoke deeply into us about the raging conflict that we are surrounded by. I felt so loved by spiritual truth and caring hearts. I shared a hard dream with my bride this morning. Filled with the hard invitation of the things that God has called us to over years, the things that we are being shaped by. I look into her radiant eyes, blown away by her godly beauty. I'm grieving. I'm exhilarated.

I create no individual paragraphs in the above heart art, because this is all simultaneous. All at once, a heart pressed, torn, puzzled, delighted, hoping, ravaged with beauty, weary of sin. All at once.

One of those two friends who spoke truth into Lea and I sent Lea a link to a song yesterday. I heard the sound of it coming from the kitchen as Lea served our family in preparation. I was drawn to the beauty of the sound even though I couldn't hear the words. A day later I am still remembering the sound and now want the words. I hear the words here in the translation room at KCK now in the morning hours.

Tell Me The Truth. (Steffany Gretzinger, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjpu4Qq_vlQ )

We're past polite Been on both sides Done a lot of life Together

We're in the deep Here talk is cheap We chose family Forever

Tell me the truth Even if it hurts me, even if it's ugly My heart is open Tell me the truth Without the self-protection Love can mend what's broken In me and you

If we'll be honest Expose our weakness We'll find we're strongest Together

So tell me the truth Even if it hurts me, even if it's ugly My heart is open Tell me the truth Without the self-protection Love can mend what's broken In me and you Tell me the truth Even if it hurts me, even if it's ugly My heart is open Tell me the truth Without the self-protection Love can mend what's broken In me and you

Brick by brick we'll take the walls down Even if it takes a lifetime Brick by brick we'll take the walls down Even if it takes a lifetime Brick by brick we'll take the walls down Even if it takes a lifetime Brick by brick we'll take the walls down Even if it takes a lifetime

So tell me the truth, tell me the truth Even if it takes a lifetime Tell me the truth, tell me the truth Even if it takes a lifetime

.............

So tell me the truth? Ok.

I'm needy. You're needy. Let's admit it.

I'm loved. You're loved. Let's bask in it.

Simultaneous.

Jesus.

There's more.