Mary.

I keep thinking about the roller coaster ride of the heart that Jesus' followers were on as His life ended. It's not a stiff, canned story with no feeling. It's the up and down heart whiplash of really intense events affecting real hearts intensely. I just keep trying to stay in the real life unfolding of those moments for those hearts because I think it helps us in the real life unfolding of these moments of our hearts. Don't rush away. Stay in it.

He died.

Us knowing that the story doesn't end there is a really big deal, but it doesn't change the dark reality of dashed hopes for those who saw it happen. He died. This really powerful, communal, table overturning, body healing, heart healing, fake revealing, soul inviting, nothing comparing, history changing reality of Jesus has been intoxicating for His followers..... and He is dead. Such a severe, whipping low.

The thick of this story is going on in the bible book of John, chapter 20. Jesus is dead. He is in a tomb. It's still dark out and Mary Magdalene wants to be close to Him, so she goes to the tomb. It's over. He's dead, but she wants to be near......a dead body? Is that kind of sick or weird? No. That's called relationship. He changed her life forever. He cast demons out of her and freed her from untold torment. He gave her life and a reason to live, a place in His kingdom. He gave her worth and dignity and understanding and compassion and love and hope. She wants to be near Him because she has relationship with Him.

And as she comes to the tomb there is more roller coaster, heart whiplashing of her soul. The stone has been moved and Her Savior is gone and she has a specific hunch about what has happened. Those who crucified Him have taken His body somewhere. Imagine her reviewing all that they have already done to His body prior to His actual death. She runs to her friends and they run back with her. They investigate. Peter and John are wondering with Mary about what has happened but they still don't fully understand what has happened, what is happening.

Peter and John go back to where they were staying and I take note that once again it's just Mary at the tomb, crying. She still wants to be close. She- just -keeps- wanting- to- be- close. And so kindly, God gives her an angelic visitation. He doesn't have to do this, but is gracious to her. And it's just her there. God doesn't think it a waste to appear to one heart. One woman. The angels acknowledge her tears. Don't miss that. And she reports what has happened to Jesus and at this moment she turns and sees Jesus standing there, but she didn't realize it was Him.

Let's keep stepping closer here.

Jesus is alive, but she didn't realize it was Him. "God, Mary. What's your problem? Can't you see it's Me, Jesus?You must be blind." No. Jesus doesn't punish her, beat her up, isn't sarcastic with her, doesn't walk away from her.

He stays with her.

And Jesus acknowledges her tears. Don't miss that. "Woman, why are you crying?"

This moment is really tender to me. She thinks He's the gardener. Oh, Mary. He is the gardener. He's tending you so tenderly and compassionately right here, now.

Keep stepping closer.

She still doesn't know it's Him. So, how does she eventually know that it's Jesus? HE KEEPS LETTING HER HEAR HIS VOICE.

"Mary." He speaks her name. And she cries out, "Teacher!"

And what of you and me today. We live today in the up and down heart whiplash of really intense events affecting our real hearts intensely. And that's just in our inner life. How will we make it?

He keeps letting us hear His voice.

Saying our name.

There's more.