Psalm 143.

The Call of God in the crush of Living (Psalm 143).

Crying for mercy seems like one of the most opposite realities of what the world around us pushes on us and seemingly also what my heart pushes down in me so that it is more numb than fully alive. Don't cry out for mercy. Even if you're faking it, don't act needy for mercy. Lea and I have been talking in the last couple of days about the word veneer. To cover over with a thin decorative coating. I am aware of spending some of my life wanting to decoratively cover over my desperate cries and need for mercy rather than letting them ring out in beauty and desperation.

This morning as I was driving to the Korean Church I was imagining a reunion. Taylor and Ashley got married two weekends ago and have been on retreat with each other and Trinity. Trent and Meg get married in two weekends. Lord willing we are going to have a reunion at Trent and Meg's wedding. As I thought about seeing these chosen people in my life all reunited in an airport a week from now, all I wanted to do was weep. Mercy weeping. God, you created relationships. My weeping is a crying out for mercy in thanksgiving that this is the brilliant God plan of living that you initiated in us. Right relationship with Him and right relationship with each other. And right smack in the middle of living in that relationship with Him and each other, even when it's the richest that you could imagine it being, it is so hard and we are needy for the mercy of Jesus. The crush of living is real and intense.

How can crying for mercy, a place of deeply intimate living, be a real longing of my heart in the midst of the brutal crush of living on this sin sick planet filled with sin sick hearts? How can that cry for mercy even be a real thing?

The call of God.

Why would we even ever say, “Lord hear my prayer” if we hadn’t heard Him call to us first. We wouldn’t call on our own. We don’t call on our own. But by His grace and kindness we hear His call strewn throughout His words….

Call to me and I will answer you…Jeremiah 33

Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved….Romans 10

God have mercy on me, a sinner….Luke 18

This is what I hear the Spirit through David teaching me in the bible book of Psalm, chapter 143. In the crush of living on this planet coupled with the deceitfulness of our sinful hearts, we must rehearse and remember ANYTHING and EVERYTHING we can about the God who is calling us to Himself. And while we ruthlessly rehearse and remember anything and everything about who He is and what He is like, He invites us to tell Him about the crush of living this life on our hearts. He invites this.

That’s what I believe David is doing in Psalm 143….This is what I hear David saying.....

"You’re faithful.

You’re righteous.

I don’t want your judgment.

I know I’m not righteous before you.

The enemy is real and is after me.

He is a part of this crushing.

He wants darkness for me.

My spirit is weary and my heart is dismayed.

I remember the history of your powerful wonders.

I worship you with my hands spread out to you.

I’m thirsty for you in this parched and weary land.

I want you to answer me.

I want to see you.

If I don’t hear you or see you I will be in a dark place.

I long for the morning light of your unfailing love.

I want to trust you.

I trust you.

Show me yourself, show me what to do, where to go.

My enemies are real, you are more real.

I’m staying with you.

Teach me Jesus teach me your way to live.

Oh good spirit lead me on level ground, steady with you.

Bless your own holy name Lord Jesus by saving me.

Your righteousness is a way out of the crush of trouble in my heart and in this land.

You silence me when I’m your enemy.

Do the same to my enemies.

Humble my enemies.

Humble all your enemies.

I want to serve you."

Oh, the crush of living on our fragile hearts.

Let us hear from you mighty God.

Let us hear from you saviour Jesus.

Let us hear from you Holy Spirit.

Let us hear your call from the cross….

Help us to humble ourselves and cry out for mercy in a place of desperate dependence on you.

From airport reunions that point us towards our real home to the exposure of dark hearts.....cry out to Him. Lord have mercy on me! Lord have mercy on us!

We remember Jesus on the cross....

Call on me and I will answer you.

Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.

God have mercy on me, a sinner.

There's more.