This is where I met for church on Sunday.

This is the shed in the back corner of my church parking lot. I met here for church on Sunday, actually inside this shed. There were about a dozen of us.

Why do I go to church? Do I even think about it?

Why don't I go to church? Do I even think about it?

"Supposed to. Always have. It's my routine. It's Sunday. Might as well. My parents will ask around to see if I went. Damon has texted me so many times, I give up. I'll go."

This past Sunday we participated in the International Day of Prayer for the Persecuted church. It was simple. It was hard. For me. It was a space to actually think about why I go to church and what it would be like if it was different at some point down the road to actually really consider why I would risk going or not going.

What if I was making a decision? Is it worth it to me to sneak to the secret location that the "church" is gathering at to worship and to savor the Word of God together knowing that we may be arrested, harmed or even killed because we chose to do so? In light of that, why would I risk it?

The gathered church is always a risk, whether we are in danger of obvious persecution or not. On any given day of gathering, I may encounter the mysterious moments of the Trinity wooing and inviting me that there is more than what meets the eye as I live AND I may encounter the fickle, self-focused man that I am on many days that is heart ugly and disinterested in anyone, God or other.

And many times I find that I encounter both at the same time.

Wow. A heart ugly, fickle, self-focused, disinterested man encountering the mysterious wooing and invitation of the Trinity.

And add you. Things just got messier.

And this is what I sense I am learning. This actually sounds................real. This actually sounds like...........church. This sounds like real church.

Why do I go to church? Do I even think about it?

Why don't I got to church? Do I even think about it?

There's more.